Remember that scene in Sex and the City when Richard gives Samantha a pearl thong right before they go to Atlantic City and Carrie has that really bad haircut? It is not a coincidence that Samantha breaks up with him in this same episode. OK, it's for a bunch of different reasons, but I have a hunch that all those reasons were exacerbated by having a WASPy jewelry item stuck up her crack. How do I know? Because I stuck one up my own crack.